My husband's metabolism should be part of a study

So we just came back from vacation, which for me, is like being lost in a corn maze of calories. At every turn is a temptation. Each day, we would trek off to the beach with a cooler that weighed as much as my kitchen refrigerator. I would say, "Do we need all this food?" and my husband would say, "we should bring enough for everyone". Does he mean everyone on the other side of the Sagamore Bridge? He would cap off each night with "It's time for ice cream", which is a particular weakness for me. But for him, he gets a hot fudge sundae with any food item that can be dumped in it. I love vacation, but if I hung around with him too much I'd be blowing out of my bathing suit in no time at all. After only six days away, I put on 3 pounds. I asked him what he gained, and he looked at me like I was insane. He said "what do you mean by gained, like knowledge, nothing, I was on vacation, I was giving my brain a rest". Jerk...