I think that regular people should get Oscars, Tonys, Emmys and the occasional Razzie, too. In the last six weeks, I have re-enacted pivotal scenes from the following Hollywood offerings:
1. The vomit spewing portion of "The Exorcist" when I told my teenaged daughter that she absolutely cannot visit a boy who lives 500 miles away who with my eyes squinted resembles Lou Ferrigno
2. Encountering the "ROUS" or rodents of unusual size, from the "Princess Bride", trying to get cozy with my daughter's chickens
3. Sleeping with all the lights on and living in "The Amityville Horror" house during a windy rainstorm when I was staying home alone for the weekend
4. Living next door to Shirley MacLaine's character from "Terms of Endearment"
5. Trying to find someone to dance with at Pete's Bar other than your husband because he's convinced he's the lead actor in "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure".
6. Being asked if you played the part of Gollum/Smeagol's body double in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy
7. Standing on the scale at weight watchers and yelling "What'chu talkin 'bout, Willis?" from "Diff'rent Strokes" to the diminutive woman behind the counter
8. Wondering if after you walk through your son's apartment door you come out with the same goo on you as in the movie "Poltergeist"
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